This Badass Walked into the Office

It happened again 6 times yesterday! A true Badass walked into my office. Now, none of these people would describe themselves as badasses, but I know that that is what they are because they are coming to me with the discomfort of failure, asking for help as they face it head on with courage to get up and go again.

I have been re-reading Brene Brown’s book Raising Strong because she talks about what it takes to get yourself up when you have fallen. And, that is the work I do; I help people stand up strong when they feel they have failed. I support them to face the discomfort of failure, fear of failure, or procrastination so they can get back into the arena, raising strong.

Raising Strong, a follow up book to her book Daring Greatly whose title was inspired by this Roosevelt quote, examines, with slow motion, the experience of falling flat on your face because you have dared greatly and what it means to raise strong from that place of pain and discomfort.

It is interesting to me that people come in tp see me because of the pain and discomfort of both failure and the avoidance of failure. So often we are taught that to be strong, you need to either not fall down or deny the discomfort when you do, dusting yourself off as if nothing happened. This emotional avoidance actually causes the pain to accumulate. Rather than experiencing pain, people often act it out, blaming others, internalize it, stuffing it in their bodies to wreck unconscious internal havoc, or live the pain as if the pain is the “truth” about how life is.

As Dr. Brown discusses, a more effective method for raising strong is to face the pain and discomfort of failure head on. When you have the courage to do this then you expand your comfort zone, learn you have the grit to be a BadAss. Then you are willing to dare greatly, to devote yourself to a worthy cause, to risk error and shortcomings to achieve the triumph of high achievement.

So be a badass, face the discomfort of failure or potential failure head on. Don’t be a cold, timid soul who knows neither victory nor defeat.

To schedule an appointment with Dr. Cindy, call 650-704-1252 or email

Dr. Cindy Sholes

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