From Gremlin to Guide How to Send your Inner Critic on Vacation
However, the shape and tone of your inner critic is important to your well being. How do you see and treat yours?
I have taught my inner critic to be kind, or at least compassionate. I treat her with respect, but not as an all knowing goddess. (She would like to be thought of as a goddess ... "her Majesty" to be more precise.) We touch base every day, but on my terms.
How do I do that? Every evening I write a "Win" journal. This is a simple blank book where I write at least 3 "wins" that I achieved that day. A "win" could be anything positive I can take credit for. On a good day, a win might mean I completed an email to you and sent it out. On a mediocre day, a win might be getting a shower or getting dinner on the table for my family (the quality doesn't matter here...). The magic is this ... Whenever I am writing down my wins, my inner critic can't speak. She isn't allowed ... I only write positive accomplishments and their positive aspects. She gets bored and goes away. (Without the Win journal, she tends to think she needs to run the show.)
It feels great to give my inner critic a rest so I can sleep well without having her interfere.
I have been recommending all of my clients keep a win journal to quiet their inner critics and build up their inner strength and resilience. It is just a good mindset trick. If you try it let me know how it goes?
I first learned about my inner critic when I was in hypnotherapy school many years ago. We called our inner critics "Gremlins". It was around that time that I started learning the mindset skills to tame my inner Gremlins.
I think having a critical voice is healthy, it is there to protect you. And even adults sometimes need some voice that says things like "put on your seat belt" or "you are going to be late, but stopping at that red light is still a GOOD idea!".